Thursday, July 24, 2008

Scientific Evidence that Tofu isn't Manly

Science has confirmed what men have know for ages:
Eating Tofu is for sissies. Or it actually makes you into a sissy if you eat it. Apparently the estrogen contained in tofu and other soy products has the unintended effect in men of reducing sperm count and other ill effects. I always felt funny about eating soy products- apparently my manstincts were trying to tell me something.

This is of particular concern to me as I recently stopped eating mass produced meat products. I haven't really missed them yet, but I am concerned about soy being one of my only alternatives for protein. I personally think it takes a large helping of manliness to give up something so dear as delicious beef for the sake of others and the planet. Now my backup food is going to make me impotent? Possibly make me grow bigger boobs? Oiy. You can't win.

I'm going to start eating tree bark. That sounds like it will put the hair back on my chest.

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